Color House Day 2012

Competition. Some people think it's healthy. Others think it's destructive and unfair. There's nothing like parenting to work through one's own views.

Who hasn't felt the pain of losing, and of being left out? Whose joy of a thing hasn't been marred if not outright killed by rejection and criticism?

Perhaps all those younger folks? The ones who received trophies for participating and everyone's a winner?

Even with the last twenty or so years of sensitivity to the least of us, the U.S. is still competitive. It is still loud and proud, and it's in my veins. The elation I feel at winning - it's in the gut and shamefully hard to suppress. When I score in ultimate, I prance. When I win at cards, I work to suppress my smirk.

When I see my son taking the lead in a race? I'm hysterical inside. There appear to be no other parents at HIS elementary (other than my husband) who care half as much as we do. For example, I am the only one cheering. Or maybe I'm so loud I don't hear the others? No. The others are having conversations and not even paying attention. The race is on, people!

I'm torn, though. Live and let live? To each his own? We should not judge ourselves against others. We should celebrate effort. It's a beautiful thing to see everyone try to be their best. Is it then competition with self that's healthy? Be all that you can be. Or be a failure?

Miles is funny. The way I understand it: he's so competitive he won't compete. He can't stand not being the best, so he won't even participate in a sport. We have been trying to talk him out of these irrational expectations and get him to just enjoy play. But his anxiety is so intense that we are only pushing him slightly. I'm afraid if we push too hard now (age 7), he will permanently place himself in the "not-a-jock" camp, which would be a loss.

That said, I was not going to let him get away with not participating in the big run on Color House Day this year. He insisted all week, he wasn't going to do it.

When do you, as a parent, sit back and not say anything, and when do you use an opportunity to teach an important lesson? If I preached, he argued back. If I let the day sneak up on us, he likely would have gotten on with it without much fuss. But of course, I couldn't say nothing.

It was the last event of the day, and he literally tried to sneak away. I silently (by that point) walked him back and told him he had to stay with his class, and between the teacher saying everybody had to do it and David saying, just run, even if it's not your fastest run, Miles managed to pull it together. He made a point of not trying at first, but then he couldn't help himself, and he finished strong in third place.

I was extremely proud of him for not giving up before he even tried, and he was proud of himself. Whew.

Remembering Eliza

Yesterday I read something I'd written about Eliza when she was a baby. Like most parents, I've forgotten most of it. There are the photos and a few videos, but in writing I'd captured something else - how things used to be - Eliza's baby personality, her delicious baby gestures, baby emotions and her relationship with us.

Amman, Jordan - January 2008

Eliza is so different now. She is a little girl with her fashion sensibility, her love for drama, and her interest in animals. She interacts with the world and us in a totally different way. What had been subtle, inarticulate baby behaviors - sitting content in my lap during coffee conversations with other moms or laughter at the rough play with her brother or continuous babble before she knew more than a few words - developed into interest in going out and socializing, a degree of spiritedness to match her brother's intensity and (no surprise in this family) loquaciousness.

Harare, Zimbabwe - January 2012

Remembering Eliza the baby made me remember loving her then, as she was then, and as much as I love her now, I can't help but be a bit heart broken at not having baby Eliza anymore.

Sunday morning fashions

bats in pjs

rolling in the deeeeep! you had my heart insiiiiiide your hands!

#1 bee in the school musical

more weekend dress up

trying to hang earrings on unpierced ears

this is getting boring, mom.

Boxing Day Safari

OK, so we went back to Imire. We've been 5 times now. The reasons why we end up taking so many guests there:

• proximity to Harare - it's around a 1.5 hour drive from home

• variety of animals: lions and hyena (in safe enclosures), both black and white rhino, elephants, giraffe, kudu, zebra, ostrich, bushbuck, eland, hartebeest, antelope, tsessebe, sable, cape buffalo, wart hog, monitor lizard, crocodile, baoons, vervet monkeys and a hippo. 

• proximity to animals - because this is a private game park and rhino sanctuary, the animals there are semi-wild. The elephants and rhinos come close to us. We can touch them, feed them - it's cool. 

Because of the rains, we came back to the main lodge to fee the elephant - thus, the fence.

• information about animals - the guides know a lot about the animals who have lived on the sanctuary for years

• picturesque - the area is hilly and lovely with the typical Zimbabwean kopje rock formations. They have a couple of great picnic spots, and the farm house and thatch-roof cabins are a nice camp base.  

• family/service - the owners of the ranch/sanctuary are such interesting people who love what they do and host college kids to work on the land and with the animals throughout the year

• affordability - safari's can be expensive, as you can imagine. Imire is so close we have the option of going up for the day for less than $70 per person or overnight for not much more. In fact, the house we stayed in this time easily accommodated 7 adults and 6 children, came with housekeeping, a cook and a guide for afternoon and morning walks, canoes and lake access, swimming pool, etc, and cost $150 total.

All to ourselves.

• activities - ride on the largest elephants I have ever seen, horseback riding, fishing, and of course, game drives and walks.

Stables where the big animals are kept at night to keep them (and others) safe.

• safety - because we're not in the wild parks, there is a degree of predictability and control - staff monitor and know the animals well, and I feel safer and more comfortable with our little kids there.

BTW, if you're interested in volunteering, check out the work schedule we saw! My favorite: dip the lions at 2 on Thursday.

That Special Christmas Magic

Christmas in Zimbabwe is good for us. It's a funny combination of home and traditions past and Southern Hemisphere Africa.

The kids and I were eager to get a tree up, but the evergreens were looking dreary the week I was ready, so we went with a tropical plant. Don't even know what it's called, but it grows straight out of the center of a green and yellow plant that looks like a giant alien, cactus octopus. We felt vaguely that it was more environmentally friendly.

The hoopla around Christmas in Zim is significant compared to other places we've lived, but it's just a drop in the bucket compared to what we'd experience back home. We were invited to an ugly xmas sweater party, and people were literally having to make something to wear: ornament jewelry, reindeer antlers out of tinfoil (David went as a kind of cross between Santa and Jesus with his Sudanese jalabiya and a red hat) because not only were we without unwanted items but it was hard to even find tacky Christmas things to buy. Imagine.

Sheryl and Vaughn invited us over to make Christmas cookies.

we sent the majority of the goodies to school with the kids

the adults had even more fun than the kids

We were playing Christmas music around the house, teaching the kids the songs and watching the old movies. But of course, it's all about cold, awful weather and snowmen, whereas in Zimbabwe the weather was great! We donated toys to the AIDS orphans and participated in other charitable events. We made Christmas cards for friends and family, and got together with people to enjoy great food and drink and happy times.

After seeing the movie Elf and knowing about the fakes, the kids were excited to see the REAL Santa at the grocery store. He came to hear from a few children whose emails he hadn't received since the internet's been down.

Most special was having family here: Tracy, Zavion, Jack and Anne. We were so lucky that Jack and Anne came here for two weeks and everything went so well! Their luggage (including Santa's sack) all made it. Their flights to Vic Falls weren't cancelled. No one got sick. There was plenty to do and plenty time to relax, as well. We were able to celebrate Jack's birthday, and we got to know Anne better, and she's a doll! (as my Grandmom Helen would say).

For his birthday, we framed photos of him with baby David ('73) and baby Miles ('05).

The children were VERY EXCITED Christmas morning. Whether it was a new pencil, a piece of candy, legos, a doll or a sketchpad - all were happy to tear off the paper and look at the new things. For the first time, the kids were old enough for there to be a semblance of order. The kids read the names on the gifts and handed them out, and we took turns opening them. (Just writing about it makes me want a cup of coffee.)

David's big gift from all of us: Zavion and Eliza's art framed for the office.

More photos from Christmas:

The Sound of Zimbabwe

When we went to Cape Town last weekend, there were two bands playing on the water front, one of which were a group of marimba players. After listening, I told the guy selling CDs that my son was taking marimba lessons. Another listener then introduced himself - he's Zimbabwean, living in South Africa and just listening and missing home. The marimba is a Zimbabwean instrument. There's something about Zimbabweans - even with the craziness of what comes with elections and such, the people are just typically laid back and friendly. I had a wave of homesickness for my home in Harare.

At a fundraiser for an orphanage before Christmas, we were happy to find that Miles's teacher's marimba band was performing. They even let Miles join them for a couple of songs. It was really cool.

Eliza at 5

Sweet, wild, energetic, tough little Eliza celebrated her 5th birthday way back in October.

She had an early celebration while Grammy and Grandpa Mike were visiting, then a party on her actual birthday with all the kids from both EC1 classes.

Shortly after her 5th birthday, while Eliza was eating biltong, a tiny tooth fairy, so small and so fast we never saw her, flew into Eliza's mouth and took her very first tooth.

Vic Falls

Eliza's photos:

in lieu of proper fencing, children are deterred from the falling off the cliff's edge by brambles

What Eliza puts up with - boys not cooperating.

self-portrait

Much of the Vic Falls trip of October was documented in my other blog. But here's the rest of the story.

The kids and I had been to Vic Falls the year before at nearly the same time of year, so they knew what was coming and were looking forward to the trip. This time we stayed even longer since we were lucky to crash at Tracy's friend, Brent's place. First evening we crashed a party of Brent's friends in the final hours of a weekend family camping bash. Miles hit it off with Brent's son and they played all week together.

Next morning we went to the falls early as it gets hot fast and there's quite a bit of walking for the kids.

Can you see the people at the top of the falls? There's a natural pool that's safe to hang out in right on the edge.

attitude of exhaustion

We did a day trip to Chobe National Park across the border in Botswana, which we hadn't done before. It was AWESOME. The drive and border crossing were a piece of cake. We were taken to a nice hotel on the Zambezi River in Botswana where we took a boat for a morning safari cruise. Lots of animals were visible from the boat as it was the end of the dry season and they were flocking to the water. 

Legavon / Monitor Lizard

Fish Eagle

hippo pods

excellent photographer...a few of whose are here!

crocodile eating recently deceased elephant 

We had lunch and swimming at the pool at the hotel, then did an afternoon game drive in another area along the Zambezi. Driving down from the ridge, there was a fabulous view I haven't seen before in Zimbabwe where buffalo, elephants, hippos, warthogs, birds, crocodiles, and antelope were all within sight together. We also saw Spotted Wild Dogs for the first time. But it was the sheer number of elephants that was most impressive.

a glimpse of some of the loads of elephants we saw from the vehicle

Next day while I was rafting, Tracy took the kids to the croc farm. 

Zavion not ready to hold the baby crocodile.

Brave Eliza was first to hold the baby croc. See how excite Miles is :)

U. G. L. Y.

 We had dinner with Brent and family at the Vic Falls Safari Lodge that night, which I must say is somewhat less enjoyable with kids. Don't get me wrong: they had a great time. We arrived before sunset in hopes of seeing some animals come to the watering hole. The kids got bored, however, and found their own watering hole, and I had neglected to remember one of my first lessons in this country: never leave home without the kids' bathing suits. Eliza topped the night by vomiting during dinner, but it was one of my better mothering moments as I anticipated it in just enough time to pull her away from the table and catch it in a linen napkin. It was not handled so gracefully as to go unnoticed by the unfortunate onlookers, however.

Next day was the swing, swimming and the other Zambezi cruise covered in the other blog well enough. Brent's surprise detour to see the elephants on the morning we departed was much appreciated by the kids.

More photos of the Vic Falls trip at this link: