Parent Teacher Day

David and I had about 10 minutes with Miles and Eliza's teachers yesterday. They didn't have folders or assessments to review. It was the usual casual sit down, and frankly, they said some of the same things to other parents, which made me feel like maybe they were not all that prepared. But then I'm on the parent side of things now, and we can be so demanding, can't we?

Miles's teachers said that they take him with them to make copies or run errands. He likes to be the helper, and that works for them to keep him occupied. When did I learn that this is how teachers deal with "trouble makers?" The whole time they spoke, I felt as though a translation from their parent speak to my teacher speak was going on in my head. But they said they were walking a line, wondering when they should make Miles understand that he needs to do what the other children are doing, that he can't always get his way. Yes, he flatters them: how they smell, what they're wearing..."I love you, Miss! That is such a pretty dress!" I can relate. Well, on the flattery part, I admit to encouraging that a bit. A woman likes to hear she looks good! But on finding the balance between firmness and reasonable fairness for a child's individual needs, that seems to be a doozy of a struggle some days.

They say he's learning well and seems to understand everything that he needs to know at this point, but he just isn't interested in participating in the lessons. Oh, he'll be front and center for story time, and he likes listening to music (or watching dvds!), but when it comes to repeating phonic sounds...boooring! He actually told me that last night: I don't want to go to school: it's boring! It looks like as much as I don't want to give him special treatment (i.e. Deal with it! We all did! It's your job to go to school! You're going to love reading--trust us!), it might be a good idea to start strategizing more on what he needs to be stimulated or else things could go sour, or rather stay sour, and potentially exponentially for the next 15 years.

Or am I taking things a little too far. He just turned 5, for goodness sakes. He's not even in Kindergarten yet. All he wants to do is play. Is that so unreasonable?

Eliza is the youngest in her class. I tend to forget she's just 2 and a half. You should see her on her new bicycle these days--with training wheels, but still! Her teachers still say she is fun to have around. They like her personality. She seems to really like school. Even at home in the morning she asks, hopefully, do we have school today? David thinks that, in part, this is her way to antagonize her brother who dreads school. Socially, she plays with everyone, and doesn't appear to have a best friend now. The dramas she has recently been throwing when we leave her at school (leg clinging, whining) are "for attention" since as soon as we leave, she stops.

She's not hitting others "for no reason" any more. She plays with typically boy toys as much as girl toys. She is learning all they are expecting her class to learn. Their only challenge with Eliza is that she chooses not to listen sometimes. She will ignore them when they are telling her to do something that she doesn't want to do. Sound like anyone else we know? Hmm, must review the parenting chapter that explains what I must be doing to reinforce this behavior in my kids. That said, I am 90% sure this rebelliousness in both my kids is genetic, though both my and D's parents report that we were "well-behaved" children. Could it not be a case of the old rose-colored glasses? OK, I will take responsibility for the rebellious nature and David will take responsibility for the disgruntled boredom. Or would that be counter productive?

Biggest good news is that they've agreed to let Eliza go to school with no pull-up on, and today after her first big-girl-panties day, she was accident free...until the final 10 minutes or so when she proudly told her teacher, when asked if she needed to use the toilet, that she already did her caca.